Whose name goes first on a wedding invitation?

The traditional rule

On a traditional invitation, the bride's name comes before the groom's. It doesn't matter who is paying. What changes is how each name is written.

Who is hosting	Bride's name	Groom's name
The bride's parents	First and middle name only	Full name
The groom's parents	Full name	First and middle name only
Both sets of parents	Full name	Full name
The couple, or "together with their families"	Full name	Full name

The pattern: when your own parents are named on the line above, your last name is already implied, so it's left off.

When the bride's parents are hosting

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Hale
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Emma Louise
to
Mr. Daniel James Carter

When the groom's parents are hosting

The bride still comes first. Her full name is used, and the groom is introduced as "their son".

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Carter
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of
Miss Emma Louise Hale
to their son
Daniel James

"Miss" or "Ms." before the bride's name is traditional here. Leaving the title off is also correct.

When you are hosting together

When you host your own wedding, or use "together with their families", the traditional order is still the bride first. Many couples now choose whichever order sounds better aloud, and that's fine as long as it's the same everywhere.

Together with their families
Emma Louise Hale
and
Daniel James Carter
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage

Two brides or two grooms

There is no traditional order, so choose one of these:

• Alphabetical by first name. Neutral and easy to explain.
• Whichever sounds better aloud. "Olivia and Emma" might flow better than "Emma and Olivia".
• The name of the person whose parents are hosting, if only one family is named on the invitation.

Together with their families
Emma Louise Hale
and
Olivia Rose Grant
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage

Keep the same order everywhere

Once you choose an order, use it on every piece: the save-the-date, the invitation, the RSVP card, the website, the programs, and the signs. A save-the-date that says "Daniel and Emma" followed by an invitation that says "Emma and Daniel" looks like a mistake, even if both are correct.

What about "to" or "and"?

• "to" is traditional when parents are hosting and the invitation reads "the marriage of their daughter … to …".
• "and" is used when both of you are named equally: "Emma Louise Hale and Daniel James Carter".

Names on the envelope are a different question

On the outer envelope you are addressing your guests, not yourselves. For a couple who lives together:

• Married, sharing a last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Carter", or "Anne and Michael Carter".
• Married, with different last names: "Ms. Anne Porter and Mr. Michael Carter" on one line. Either order is correct.
• Not married: each name on its own line.
• A doctor: "Dr. Anne Carter and Mr. Michael Carter", with the doctor's name first.

Before you print

Ask everyone named on the invitation how they want to be listed: parents, stepparents, and both of you. Middle names, titles, and whether a parent uses a remarried name are personal, and they're the details guests notice first.